I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
