Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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