I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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