You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
