He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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