That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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