The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
