so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i permit you to call me
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
