I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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