Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
