You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Randomize
