I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
My cat gives me a boner
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me the toilet please
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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