My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
she smelled like a LAN party
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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