Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
