yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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