Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
