i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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