so that wasnt chicken after all
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I am naked and annoyed.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
