therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize