are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
