Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize