he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
