So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
