i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
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