I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
He kissed a someone with a penis
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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