i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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