My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
