you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
