some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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