youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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