whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
