Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
