Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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