Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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