How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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