Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
