OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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