At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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