Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize