We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
