Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
