he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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