I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I queefed so loud it echoed.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
