you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
