I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
