you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
and you fell through a lawn chair
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
