I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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