Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize