Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Semen is not good for contacts.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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