Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
