He is such a slut. More and more my type.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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