dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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