It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
