He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Drunk is not a location!
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
false alarm, still single
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