so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
