my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Your penis caused this!
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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