I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
