that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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