TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
