Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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