What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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