His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.