im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
