went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
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I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
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So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.