turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
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When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
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just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.