The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
