Texts From Last Night

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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  so I ended up banging her last night

  (1-414): View more from Wisconsin

  dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  i don't even remember

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  (414): so I ended up banging her last night (1-414): dude I remember her. You sure it was a her? (414): i don't even remember http://tfl.nu/73hr
  Replies (8) Good night (817) Bad night (3628)
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  (551): View more from New Jersey

  Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.

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  (551): Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again. http://tfl.nu/vdhg
  Replies (51) Good night (863) Bad night (4416)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."

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  (732): you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy." http://tfl.nu/a1we
  Replies (91) Good night (21685) Bad night (3132)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.

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  (305): Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend. http://tfl.nu/xxmf
  Replies (6) Good night (3913) Bad night (838)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?

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  (610): So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her? http://tfl.nu/wt2f
  Replies (31) Good night (1750) Bad night (4004)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.

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  (306): They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties. http://tfl.nu/2id3
  Replies (24) Good night (10017) Bad night (916)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".

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  (267): Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented". http://tfl.nu/soll
  Replies (10) Good night (2016) Bad night (3368)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?

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  (804): He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag? http://tfl.nu/lcp4
  Replies (21) Good night (713) Bad night (4688)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal

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  (251): Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal http://tfl.nu/vqqo
  Replies (12) Good night (2818) Bad night (910)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal

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  (812): They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal http://tfl.nu/sgdn
  Replies (4) Good night (1959) Bad night (534)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.

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  (509): I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning. http://tfl.nu/olim
  Replies (7) Good night (2293) Bad night (510)
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  (818): View more from California

  Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."

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  (818): Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right." http://tfl.nu/w7y1
  Replies (8) Good night (646) Bad night (1285)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking

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  (262): The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking http://tfl.nu/wbzc
  Replies (7) Good night (494) Bad night (1047)
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  (805): View more from California

  We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"

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  (805): We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?" http://tfl.nu/3rqz
  Replies (4) Good night (1504) Bad night (417)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes

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  (970): I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes http://tfl.nu/f5p7
  Replies (2) Good night (331) Bad night (545)

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