What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
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Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
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Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt