TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize