So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
